I wrote briefly on the issue of body shaming in my post about self-improvement.
And I have been building up for this whole body shaming saga before and after that.
At the end of 2017, there was a trend on social media on things that should be stopped and not taken into the new year; this triggered a desire to rant as I have at some point felt like I had experienced it.
Few weeks after I had my son, a few people called me fat to my face.
Not in the caring way of saying “you now have flesh covering your dry collarbone” like my mother would say; but in the best judgemental way of possibly saying it.
Nothing more screams body shaming like that right there.
It was a shocking reality.
I couldn’t believe I knew people like that.
Should anyone really?
I had just had a baby, my body had changed and was still changing, hormones were fully activated at 1000%, I think I literally became a part-time bipolar transistor.
I was breastfeeding, hungry for an entire community, lacking sleep, stressed and most of all, in serious pain. Because my stitches came off ( this is another story for the future).
I didn’t have a live in-house help, or a visiting one, just family who came and went because well, these good people have their own lives to live.
So how could I possibly have time to include a I-want-to-regain-my-former-body work out routine amidst all the craze?
And I honestly didn’t feel ready to stress myself, and that sort of went on for OVER a year.
I was physically, mentally and spiritually uninterested; the times I felt absolutely comforted by 1 Timothy 4:8.
I was too tired to be satisfied by anything not chocolate-y.
As a first time mom, going through all that, then some people felt it was okay to include body shaming.
Hey, I was truly astonished.
I’m most grateful though for the good support I have been enjoying. Because postpartum depression as we know comes in different forms.
My husband, mom and sister encouraged me about my weight worries, told me to take it easy, it was just a matter of time and I would go back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Yeah of course.
They just said that to make me feel better.
Isn’t that the kind of people we need around?
Those who will buy you chocolates and also take you shopping for a change of wardrobes. Because.. oh never mind.
Ha ha ha
Rather than those who don’t even know your struggles but somehow think it’s their place to tell you you’re out of shape.
Why, just why do people do that?
I’m talking about people who will tell you, you look slim, you look fat, you’ve slimmed down, you’ve added weight, in one day, and in that very order.
And go on to ask you why you let yourself get so fat.
Between the battle of not fitting into over half of your wardrobe, and looking for motivation to pick yourself up.
And then there is all the other personal things that you are faced with.
In case you’re wondering why I have chosen to divulge so much information because of ORDINARY fat, I am taking this personally.
Not because of the extra TWO INCHES or TEN KG that I have PROUDLY managed to add to my weight now.
I don’t even care about my extra weight because it’s not even a huge difference.
My worries were in line of the fact that I was used to my body in a certain way. And of course, I could not fit comfortably into my favourite outfits.
But like I said, I’m past that already.
So this is more than my feelings (I don’t think I have any left though), not after all the chocolate and cake.
I just have always disliked it when people brought up the issue of body weight, even when I used to be thinner.
Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of the new wave of positivity about body image on popular social media platforms.
It is actually hard to scroll through your timelines these days and not see a mention about how beauty is a thing from within.
Aww, SO SWEET. Every thing in me supports this.
Weight is a sensitive issue to touch on. Especially for women, and more so, for women who’d just had a baby.
And I am coming from this angle of a woman who just had a baby, because it is the very angle from which I was attacked.
And I’m sure no one really feels like Mother Theresa after any form of body shaming.
So yeah, I am taking it personally for the culture of women, motherhood, and humankind.
Besides, the whole image positivity thing doesn’t quite work on everyone. It is almost as if it is a subtle way to reinforce it in the eyes of the world.
Too much attention is being drawn to our bodies with direct negative remarks, as well as sugar-coated ones under the pretence of true intentions.
Weight and complexion alike, making so many people victims of colourism, bulimia and anorexia.
Rather than body-shaming people and rubbing it on their faces, or making jokes about it, it is better to offer support, sensitively.
Adding weight is not always a bad thing, there’s something called healthy weight – weight that is not overweight; adding flesh nicely, and or filling up the right places.
And lastly, there’s just really no reason to go around telling people they are fat or need to lose weight.
Having said all that, let me step on the scale and see if I’ve dropped some points, cos I feel lighter just by ranting.
Thank you for reading. You’re unique.